The written word from a
San Diego DJ
The sounds of summer are often punctuated with fast beats and fast feet (on a dance floor). To listen, click on the Spotify playlist below, and subscribe to the DJ Kanoya 5 playlist.
Justin Kanoya is a wedding DJ based in San Diego. He has served as a DJ and host of more than 300 weddings over the past decade and is a recommended vendor at some of San Diego's finest wedding venues, including the Hotel del Coronado and the Lodge at Torrey Pines.
Me, daughter Marissa, wife Sheila and Rinny.
My family (me, my wife Sheila, daughter Marissa and dog Rinny) was involved in a car accident and we almost died.
UPDATE: We are fine. No blood. Didn't get taken away in an ambulance.
Since we literally walked away from the crash unscathed and the damage to my car is merely a busted back end with the rest of the car looking pretty normal, it might seem a bit melodramatic to say we almost died. But maybe an inch one way or the other, and things would be drastically different.
What I do know, is the experience was enough for me to think about some things. Most of all, it made me think about the phrase “giving up.” It made me think about the many times we have in life to give up or persevere.
There was a moment during the accident when I decided to not give up. It probably saved our lives.
The Accident
Driving south on I-15 on a Saturday night just after 7 p.m., I looked up in my rear view mirror and saw a brown pick-up truck coming toward me at a high rate of speed. It was like a guided missile headed straight toward its target.
In a matter of seconds I felt an impact, which forced my vehicle into the lane to my right. I was struck a second time, saw the truck flying off the freeway into the grass, my car fishtailed out of control and was headed directly toward a barrier made of solid concrete.
I remember thinking it’s going to suck to hit this wall head on. I heard Sheila screaming. But I also felt a sense of calm.
I gripped that steering wheel so hard. I turned it to the right. Turned it to the left. And as fast as it had all started, we were no longer headed toward that wall. My car was on the shoulder, slowing down and safely coming to a stop out of harm's way.
Our daughter was on the verge of tears, our dog was shaking like a massage chair. We were all fine … well at least physically.
In the next 24-48 hours Sheila and I had opportunities to discuss and hypothesize what happened. Everything took place behind us, so we were not entirely certain what unfolded. The whole incident lasted maybe 10 seconds. She recalled as we were sliding toward that wall and thinking her life was about to end.
In our discussion, I also reflected on that moment and discovered my thoughts were different. I didn’t feel as though I was going to die. Like I said earlier, I had this sense of calm. I didn’t have time to think about dying. My priority at that moment was to survive … to ensure everyone in my car would survive. And I was the one person, with control of that steering wheel that was going to make that happen.
That is the beauty of being in control. Whether it is being in control of your career choices, a bicycle you are riding or your car careening toward a slab of concrete. We have the ability to control the outcome. Or at least die trying.
But the moment we give up that control, when we decide the struggle is not worth it, is the moment a part of you or maybe all of you dies.
This past year for me, May ’15 to May ’16 has been amazing. But it hasn’t been perfect. While it’s wrong for me to assume that many of you think it is has been, I’m here to tell you not everything is as awesome as it looks through Instagram filters and Facebook posts.
Sure, I’ve been traveling all over the country, playing music at yoga parties for Fitbit, grand openings for Lululemon, running races with November Project, eating amazing meals and hanging with wonderfuls friends and family.
But here is what hasn’t gone all that great:
And despite all of those missteps and struggles, I’m not giving up. Those things that haven’t gone as planned are opportunities to understand what I can do better. They give me perspective on how I can approach things differently.
When faced with the choice, you decide whether you give up or not. Throughout life you will find yourself headed toward cement walls all the time. It’s what you choose to do in the moment you are about to make contact with that wall. Will you give up? Will you choose life or will you choose certain doom?
Navigating life is hard. Finding success is hard. But neither will have a positive outcome if giving up becomes your norm.
I look at those 10 seconds of that accident as a microcosm of my life right now. A jarring hit, frantic stressful moments, fishtailing toward that wall … but then dodging the obstacle and coming to a stop.
Life brings us days filled with stress and obstacles to hurdle. But we deal with it directly and then take a pause to breathe, reflect and restore.
Those 10 seconds were likely the scariest of my life. But they just might prove to be the most important.
Beyonce brought all of her flawless fierceness and slaying to San Diego when her Formation Tour stopped in to say hello on May 12, 2016. I, along with my family and 50,000 others were in the crowd.
I never know what to expect when I go to these massive stadium shows. The beauty of attending a live music act is to share a space with an artist and others around you that share the same love for that artist. It’s the ability to connect with someone who we may only know through a computer screen, an Instagram account or sounds of the radio.
But in a stadium, the connection is so physically difficult. The artist is yards away, appearing no larger than a postage stamp. I’m more connected to the men’s bathroom -- which was about 5 paces away -- than I am to the Queen Bey.
But this is Beyonce. Sasha Fierce. One of a short list of entertainers who can stand out in a sea of dancers, a collection of a million LED lights and a stage filled with production technology that I can only imagine must be equivalent to the cost of several acres of coastal property in La Jolla, Calif.
I mean, no joke, part of her stage -- which I’m guessing took up slightly over ⅓ of the Qualcomm Stadium field -- LITERALLY TURNED INTO WATER. The Queen and her dancers walked/danced on water. WTF??!!
If there is a way to connect with an audience in the same way you would during an acoustic set at coffee shop, Beyonce somehow finds a way to do it.
Here I was being blasted with a setlist of songs, of which just a handful I was familiar with, yet I was so engaged.
And just past the halfway point, I realized what was drawing me in. After about the 37th time of Bey asking for the ladies to give themselves a shout out. For being okay for “waking up like this.” For being okay with being independent. For being okay with empowerment.
If the Spice Girls were about girl power, then Beyonce is girl powerized.
You see, I have a daughter. And everyday I watch as she continues to grow into her own self. Realizing what self worth is and why positive self worth is the thing that will help define her. It is that strong spirit I am most proud to see her nurture within herself.
Raising a girl puts me more in tune with examples of strong, take no BS women. Because my daughter, nor Beyonce, seems to be those type of females.
My daughter is a little ball of girl power.
On this night, through music, sound and visual, Beyonce connected with me and exemplified what it means to be strong.
I realize I don’t know a whole lot about her outside of the music world. In fact, most of her music that really “speaks” to women naturally never spoke to me. Yet, I still enjoy the music, I mean who doesn’t bounce to “Love On Top?”
If Beyonce is going to be one -- not the sole one -- but one example of a strong women that my daughter looks up to then I’m good with it.
Beyonce is a women that stands tall, with flawless hair whipping so perfectly as a strategically placed fan blows wind through it while executing perfect booty shakes and dance moves in ankle deep water. She is a woman who is a working mother, a business woman and a philanthropist.
Beyonce certainly is a controversial figure to many ... but, then again most shit disturbers are.
When June rolls around I am always excited about what is in store for pop music during the warm summer months. This weeks DJ Kanoya 5 looks into a crystal ball to consider what might be THE song of summer 2016. Comment below if you think it is one of these or maybe something else.
To listen, click on the Spotify playlist below, and subscribe to the DJ Kanoya 5 playlist.
Just the two of us ... the sweetheart table only has room for two!
Once a wedding reception venue has been secured and the expected guest is finalized, one of the first items wedding couples will need to address is the reception seating arrangement.
And this is not about who will sit with whom, or making sure a certain person doesn’t sit with another certain person. I’m speaking about where the couple will sit.
Generally speaking, there are one of three ways that wedding couples can seat themselves: sweetheart table, head table and, I’m not even sure what to call it , but let’s just say “sitting among the guests.”
As with any situation when you are faced with options, there are pros and cons to the above. Here’s my perspective on all three. And I’ll analyze both from a guest and a DJ’s perspective.
Sweetheart Table
This is a small table, generally a half moon, where only the newly wedded couple are assigned to. It is usually placed in an area of the room that becomes the focal point.
Pros: You and your “sweetheart” get your own spot. It will also be much easier for guests and venue and vendor staff to access you. Without having to work around several people at a head table, bringing the couple their food, drink, taking a picture, etc. is fairly easy with this set-up.
For me, I usually need to communicate with the couple a few times during dinner, so having the easy access is nice for me.
Another advantage is that since it is a smaller table it does not take up too much space. Once the dinner is over and it’s time to party and dance, you will not have a large vacant table looking unusually bare and in the way.
Cons: Having their own spot may be uncomfortable for some, as it can feel a bit awkward to be showcased in a room. I for one am not too keen on the idea of people watching me eat. Couples may also feel a bit removed from the party, especially if it is a very large room and their table has been placed far from other tables.
Head Table
This set-up assigns the wedding couple along with members of the entire wedding party. Depending on the size of the wedding party, it could be one long table, or a 8-10 person round table.
A long head table provides a canvas to create dramatic floral and decorative table art.
Pros: Your friends, family and whomever else you want, all hanging out around a table … what’s not to love about this? I would also imagine, from a service perspective, a long table is easier on the staff to serve those sitting at it.
The other positive element to a head table, is what decorators and florists can do. A large, long table presents an empty canvas that I have seen transformed into true works of art.
Cons: A large head table will soon be a large empty table just taking up important spac. During dinner, it’s common for the wedding couple to get up from their table and visit with the other guests. It’s also common for others at the table to get up, for whatever reason.
In some cases, if a member of the wedding party has family members sitting at another table, they may get up to visit with them, or maybe just check in with them (think of a bridesmaid who has a young child sitting with dad at another table.)
And even if everyone stays seated during dinner, nearly everyone will have vacated this table by the time the dancing gets started. What is left behind is a table with seating for 10,15, 20 etc. that is taking up prime position in the room. In many cases in an area that may have made better sense for me as the DJ and MC to be placed so I can connect better with the guests and dancers.
Couple sitting among all guests
This set-up assigns the wedding couple to a table among the “general population.” In essence, there is not a specific table designated for the couple or the wedding party.
Pros: The advantage of this seating arrangement is it eliminates all of the “cons” mentioned above. The couple will be sitting at a table with their friends or whomever else they choose. They won’t have to worried about being on display and since the table has been placed with the other tables, it’s likely not taking up space and interfering with the dance floor.
Cons: In the same way this arrangement eliminates the cons from above, it likely eliminates the “pros.” The couple will not have the own personal table or something exclusive for the wedding party. It may also feel a bit invasive and less welcoming for other guests to come up to this table and interact with you, since with a round table, you are always having to come up from behind the couple to get their attention.
Having the wedding party sitting among the guests is the best of both the sweetheart and head table worlds.
Whatever you decide, be sure to consider the pros and cons presented above. My biggest suggestion would be to consider the entire evening. How easy do you want to make it for your guests to interact with you? Will an empty table be a hindrance later when the party gets going? Do you want to spend this meal time among friends and family or primarily with your new spouse?
Justin Kanoya is a wedding DJ based in San Diego. He has served as a DJ and host of more than 300 weddings over the past decade and is a recommended vendor at some of San Diego's finest wedding venues, including the Hotel del Coronado and the Lodge at Torrey Pines.
